10 Steps to Holistic Happiness
Over the years I have supported many people offering them aromatherapy, reflexology, reiki and herbal therapy, and I am in constant awe of the amazing nature of the human body, mind and spirit. Sometimes all we need is a little bit of support to get on that road to wholeness. We already have all we need within us to heal; we just need to connect to ourselves and allow the healing to take place. Complementary therapies can kick start our natural healing mechanisms and help to bring us back into alignment, back to a place of wholeness. Plant medicines, flower essences and crystals can also support us on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
I have spent the last ten years discovering who I am on a deeper level, cultivating love and respect for myself and honouring my needs. I have moved from living in a place of fear, to a place of love, and embracing my life, experiencing true joy, peace and happiness. From this I have discovered what it means to be truly happy and whole.
When we are whole we are in balance on all levels of our being; mind, body and spirit. To remain in this balanced state does take constant care and attention to our wellbeing. Our day-to-day interactions with others and our experiences can pull us out of balance, and if we are unaware of these influences we can move further and further out of balance until we become ill. This is when we tend to look more closely at our lives and the way we live and ponder on how we want to move forward. Our bodies will demonstrate when changes need to be made, by shutting down, becoming ill, giving us physical symptoms to which we will eventually listen. This becomes our opportunity to heal.
HOW BECOMING A MOTHER TRANSFORMED MY LIFE
Having my first child was the catalyst for my deeper inquiry into myself, my beliefs, what I held to be true and whether these were the foundations on which I wanted to raise my children. When I looked more deeply, I saw that many of my own thought and behavioural patterns were those of negativity, low self worth and low self esteem.The potential for me was huge but I just didn't realise it. There were some fundamental layers of foundation that I needed to re-build and transform not just for my own health, wellbeing and happiness, but also for that of my three children. I was responsible for raising them into adulthood with the hope that they become balanced, confident, happy, healthy, independent, unique individuals. You can't teach children by telling them how to be, you have to be the type of adult you would like your child to grow into. Show them how to be confident, resilient, vulnerable, open hearted, loving, kind, and compassionate. Show them how to communicate, connect, trust, respect, honour, cherish, create, play, dance, sing, love, and be loved. When I looked closely at my own behaviour I came to understand what was missing and what I needed to cultivate, grow and nurture within myself in order to feel recognised, accepted and loved. No external object or person could give me what I was searching for. This was my responsibility. Scary, but hugely empowering because now I could change how I felt. I was no longer searching outside of myself for wholeness and happiness.
HOW CAN COMPLIMENTARY THERAPIES HELP ME?
On my own healing journey I received support from other therapists. Aromatherapy, acupuncture, cranio sacral therapy, reiki, reflexology, hypnotherapy, meditation, yoga, pilates, shiatsu, singing/sound meditation. Complementary therapies support our natural healthy function and allow us to connect to our deeper selves, if we so choose to. This process begins with relaxation; allowing ourselves to relax and let go in a safe and calming space, this helps our body and mind become still and more suseptible to healing. We have acknowledged we need support and made the key decision to support ourselves, becoming aware and recognising how stressed we are and how in need of some relaxation and restoration. How we react to stress and stressfull situations is what creates the suffering we experience in life. How we personally react to stress or to life in general is a built in pattern that we learnt as children, this can be positive or negative depending on the experiences we encountered. Life will always throw us challenging experiences but it is how we deal with these experiences that determines the effects on our health and wellbeing.
I found that complementary therapies holistically supported me through my healing processes, whether they were of physical or emotional nature. As a therapist myself I have experienced first hand the healing of many of my own clients. I have witnessed the miraculous healing potential within us all and how that is possible to attain if we allow it and give ourselves the support we need. Nature and nature's medicines are vital for our survival. The plants and the trees provide us with the air we breathe, we are connected. Nature is abundant in it's offerings of support. There are many ways in which we can support ourselves with the help of nature and our plant kingdom. Flower essences, herbal medicines, herbal teas, essential oils, plant oils, nutrient rich fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and grain.
Many complementary therapies are rooted in ancient traditional ways of maintaining health and wellbeing for the community or tribe. These people knew of the body's powerful, natural healing potential and used plants, and techniques such as reflexology, massage and acupuncture to support the natural healing process.
In addition to regular therapy trips to indulge in my self care routines, I have also lovingly developed my own wellbeing tool box, full of tools that support me every day of my life, if and when I need them. I now devote regular time for me, for self nurture and care. I am finely tuned to my ever changing needs and respond always with love and compassion. Love = attention, time and energy. It will die if it is not nurtured. When I say this, I don't mean love dies as this is impossible, love is a high frequency energy, the highest of all. What I mean is our ability to connect with this love energy and emanate it diminishes and dies if we don't pay attention to it, cultivate and nurture it.
MY 10 STEPS TO HOLISTIC HAPPINESS
1) Connection, friendship and relationships. We are not meant to be alone, we are meant to be part of a community, a tribe, a family. When we form friendships and relationships we gain a sense of belonging, we support one another. We help each other grow, we share experiences, laughter, joy, sadness and grief.
2) Creativity. Find what makes your heart sing and do it often. When we are immersed in creativity we are in alignment with the vibration of love and the energy of life. We are connected to our higher selves, we are relaxed, calm and usually experience a sense of wellbeing and utter joy. Creativity can be any number of activities such as painting, cooking, singing, writing, poetry, playing a musical instrument, gardening, knitting, sculpting, drawing, making, or designing. Creating is our natural state of being, it is what we do as children as we discover who we are, but as we grow into adults we can often disconnect with our creative selves.
What's a good daily self-care ritual?
3) Implement a daily self care ritual to nurture self love and respect. Sometimes due to our childhood experiences we grow into adults lacking self respect, and love for ourselves. Simple daily routines such as nourishing skincare rituals, tea rituals, meditation and deep breathing, body brushing, self massage with a delicious smelling aromatherapy oil, yoga and daily affirmations can help us to grow with love and respect for ourselves.
4) Allow yourself time each day to be alone, time just for you to be still and connect to your inner needs, somewhere quiet and peaceful so you can hear what your body is communicating to you. That could be a walk in nature, lying on your bed, or sitting in the sunshine. This is your time to breathe deeply and be present with yourself. It is only when we stop being so busy doing this, that and the other that we have the space to connect to our needs and relate to ourselves on a deeper level. Our busyness can become our perfect distraction from how we really feel. The perfect way to keep us trapped in a less meaningful existence.
5) Remember to play, like children naturally do. Sing and dance, just for the sheer fun of it, if it makes you feel good!
6) Check-in with your beliefs. Look at them closely. Do they work for you or have you automatically followed the beliefs of your parents and those around you? Have you ever questioned the truth, the set of beliefs that you live by? Are they true for you? Do your beliefs help you to be the best version of yourself and reach your highest potential or do they hold you back? What you believe to be true becomes your reality. Your belief systems set how you perceive the world and those around you. Beliefs can be changed, they are just thoughts that you re-affirm to yourself continually, so then they become something you believe to be true. We have the power to transform our thoughts from negative to positive, it just takes continual affirmation, so that we then believe in something better, something that works for us, something that nourishes and nurtures us. We deserve this kind of love, a love that seeks out the truth.
How can i be free of suffering?
7) Acknowledge, Accept and Surrender. These mindful actions are key to less pain and suffering, whether that is emotional or physical pain. The more we resist, avoid, deny, repress, surpress our pain and suffering the more it persists. We all experience pain and suffering at some stage in our lives, it is part of our human existance. We need to acknowledge our pain, recognise it and accept it as part of our journey, and surrender all we attach to our experience, with no expectations of how we think it should be. Once we do this our pain and suffering loses its intensity and often disolves. By acknowledging our pain we are honouring how we feel, recognising it as part of us. When we consciously ackowledge, accept and surrender all feelings as they arise, we honour the totality of who we are with love, compassion and kindness, and our pain begins to heal. When we resist, avoid, repress and surpress in an attempt to get rid of the uncomfortable feelings, then this energy continues to remain held deep within our physical body and our minds, creating stagnation, more pain and illness.
8) Cultivate gratitude for all that you have been given, even if you feel you have not been given very much or that life has dealt you an unfair hand. There will always be something you can be grateful for. The sunlight that streams through your window; the kindness of a stranger; a flower, the birds singing, the roof over your head. The more you notice the little things and see the gifts they bring, the more you realise you are surrounded with abundance and love, and material things become less important.
9) Little acts of kindness can bring tremendous pleasure and joy, and can stimulate others to do the same. It creates that beautiful ripple effect, making a difference in the lives of others, letting them know that you care, that they are not alone, promoting a sense of warmth and wellbeing. Little acts of kindness are a way of connecting with our fellow human beings with love and compassion.
10) Get out in nature as much as you can, it is a natural anti-depressant, it helps us feel good, it helps us to feel at one with ourselves and with our planet. As we love and honour and respect ourselves, we naturally do the same for the planet which sustains us.
Are you in need of a little support?
Myself and my husband Graig both offer holistic complementary therapies. Aromatherapy, reflexology, reiki, shiatsu, assemblage point re-alignment, meditation and flower essence therapy. We also run workshops and training in reiki. Please contact us for more information.
Other therapists in Cornwall and the South West:
Hypnotherapy available with Richard Fleming. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Cranio sacral therapy available with Anna Atkinson. Contact 01209 890538.
Caroline Coleman at Shed Alkemic. Contact on instagram @carolinecoleman888
Acupuncture with Ben, Cornwall and Bristol clinics. Contact www.thewitchdoctorsbristol.co.uk
Shiatsu in Devon with Sue Cooper. Contact www.shiatsudevon.weebly.com
Sound Healing with Megan and Olivier. Contact. www.soundbathhealing.com